Never saw eye to eye with my close friends, that’s the mental growth not physical. They never like to listen and take in what I have to say which makes the situation difficult. See I’m constantly figuring out new things about certain people but that’s just because I listen. I’ll speak up about the stuff I know just so people can become distant. That’s truly how I lose the ones close to me, I don’t really get it either. Get left with the cold shoulder like they put they’re upper body in a freezer. Today marks 12 years that my dad has passed and honestly I didn’t even know it. You can tell it affects alex and allen more by the feelings they’re showing.
That’s 2 guys I count on for unconditional love, but I don’t always feel I get the support from them like I should. Support is not telling someone what to do all the time, it’s telling them whatever you do, you’ll do good. That’s one thing I’ve learned by doing this writing thing; you gotta be your own number one supporter. You won’t get far if you only have people behind you for a half, or a quarter. Sometimes my family doesn’t support me 100 percent, I remember when all this was an attempt to rap. I wasn’t really good with flow, the rhythm, so I did away with all of that. I had some support then, but it was just all of us neighborhood kids at the park. Had a composition book of raps and this vision that I had sparked.
Now it’s just about the process to get it; the drive, the dedication, and the work ethic. The rapping switched to straight poetry because I thought I’d try a new method. I can see the name growing, you can see the pain showing, making sure I do everything possible to keep the train going. It’s just sometimes the wheels get off the track so I’m stuck in one place, maybe I was trying to move too fast, its that slow grind and with that it’s important that you have to pace; Yourself, cause what happens when you shoot out the gate too quick? Disqualification; and you lose your grip.