I’m a bit stressed so today I had to write again. No one will ever get it, and for me it’s hard to keep everything locked in. I don’t understand how y’all do. Wait, you probably vented to the wrong person cause that’s an issue we all do. I’m guilty, I’ll admit I did that before, but that right there is the reason why I’m in a big room with a locked door. Feelings got out but I got a lot more. Getting hate while I’m swimming, just to see you on shore. Really starting to debate if I wanna talk. Cause y’all only listen to who’s at the top. So I’m sitting here just wasting my breath everyday in these notes. Tryna drop knowledge, but y’all wanna joke.
It really feels like I’m stuck in a place without any help. And the only closure I get is getting a bible off my shelf. Everything is fake nowadays and I look into the word to find truth. Cause you can see by the kids that I’m around why the world looks down at the youth. It’s breaking me, shaking me, taking me, to a new level. Believe me when I say this, Girls can easily be disguised as devils. I’ve understood that since I was freshmen. Kinda stuck in the middle of it all cause I don’t know the answer to this question. It’s just been a real stressful week but maybe it’s just God testing.
It gets difficult the more light you have on you, everybody waiting for me to make a move. The light gets really blinding, and it seems like people start to lose track of you. That can be a bad thing if you let it be. But I’ve never let outside influences weather me. I’m selfish and I really believed I could find happiness in a female. I’m really not that great with girls in the first place but I won’t go into detail. I thought I already found happiness but it seems I’m still searching for it. Maybe it’s just a mindset but you can tell I’m hurting for it. It wears me down mentally, physically, and emotionally. I honestly feel I go through some of my days hopelessly. That’s why I feel some people have trouble approaching me. I promise what you hear in these poems is what you’ll always get. Growing kinda staggered, but I learned to take a hit.