The days are getting really repetitive, I go through the same stuff everyday. Trying to win sometimes but coach keeps running the same play. There it is, the cycle I’m constantly running in. The cage is locked up and I have the key but I’m constantly jumping in. Like I got Corbin Bleu and Keke Palmer on repeat. I look down on the keyboard and backspace is broke, there’s just some things you can’t delete. Some regrets, some pain, some mountains that I’ve topped. Sometimes I’ve pushed through and I wished i would’ve stopped. You always have that choice, to give up or go harder. Everything won’t always be lined up like you seeing a black barber.
In life I’ve picked both of those, I’ve went harder at times or in some cases I’ve gave up. In this generation I’m in, it’s hard for me to win when everybody outside hates us. That just goes to show that you need a supportive cast there to back you up. Someone there to call you out when you slacking up. There’s been doors opened that I probably shouldn’t have walked through. There’s been shots taken where I probably should’ve blocked you. Not everyone got the same goals and ambitions. But we all got different cards and conditions, different plans and different missions. Different pace but it’s all about how you handle the transitions.
I’ve took a step forward when I should have stepped back. Or maybe 5 steps forward and 10 steps back, I know Bone thugs already said that. That’s one of the realist lines I’ve heard and it’s crazy cause it applies to me. 2 years ago I couldn’t even take a step but it wasn’t just because my knee. I wasn’t stable, mentally, physically, or emotionally. I had a girl leave me right before and I thought I was gonna have to go through this recovery hopelessly. I guess that’s what I get for pressuring to be perfect. Turns I out I was the one who wasn’t worth it. And I still ain’t, but that comes with no surprise. I was real about it, I didn’t have on any disguise.