I’ve been thinking lately, I’m really on an island by myself. I don’t go out a lot cause I’m too worried about my health. It seems the more I go out, the more I just wanna come back in. The harder I try to get away from the world, the harder it tries to pull me back in. I’m tired of it, I’m tired of dealing with everybody cause everyone the same. I figured I’d have some variety but I guess that’s in a different game. I don’t expect a lot from anyone anymore cause it seems they always let me down. Got about 5 people in my circle and one can’t swim but I’d never let him drown. I just feel when they’re gone, it’s just me all alone. I live with my mom, stepdad, and little brother but i go up to my room and lock the door when I’m at home.
I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, cause I like to be alone with my feelings and thoughts. There’s constant war going on and in this poem, I write about dodging gunshots. Metaphorically and figuratively, I ain’t trying to get hurt or die young. I know I write about that a lot but these poems can’t always be fun. I gotta talk about the pain, the struggle, and the downside of life. In about 5 to 10 more years ill have to talk about the struggle of having a wife. Life isn’t always rainbows, neither is a relationship or marriage. You’re gonna have struggles in both of them but the good times need to be cherished. Focus on what makes you happy, and never compromise what you feel is right. I’m trying to stress that, cause somebody gotta lead the wolves in the night.
The leadership qualities really starting to make sense. I see a lot of them nowadays and I’m putting up my defense. Too many trying to cross me and get to the basket with ease. When you play some defense, you can learn to settle with some Andre Roberson 3’s. You get it? It’s a good metaphor, you gotta give up some things to earn it. The same reason you gotta understand things to learn it. You can’t understand things if aren’t open to. You really need to learn to listen if you aren’t spoken to. I write to cope my pain cause I’ve been broken too. Maybe you guys will respect it, like I’ve hoped everyone would. Maybe you’d start to hear me out, like I’ve hoped everyone could. I wanna thank you guys for listening to poems that really aren’t even that good. Or maybe they really got to you, I’m not sure where I stood.