There’s a difference between me and this poetry, but the difference has a deeper meaning. You know I kinda have two different personalities but the one without poetry is what y’all are seeing. All this time I’ve been trying to separate them but really they should fall hand in hand. I don’t really get the support I feel I should cause I can’t get people to understand. You see the poetry on social media and you’re like oh that’s sean, better keep scrolling. What if I died? would be oh he’s gone, it was really nice knowing. It shouldn’t be like that, but that’s what it’s made into. I’m spending time writing trying to make this into one personality instead of two.
Maybe it’s too late though, everyone who knows me is gonna judge by the person I’ve been. Right now it’s about picking off piece after piece to try and let this poetry in. You gotta try to understand that they only like you when you popping, or maybe they won’t like you at all. There’s a big difference in someone who says the support you and those who are there from the first call. Don’t like my stuff because you don’t like me, what type of stuff is that? Im finding a way by making plays and laying low in the back.
Staying quiet but I’m trying to speak out loud if that makes sense. So in that case my offense has to be the exact strength of my defense. So I gotta take the contested shots and defend for myself these days. My mind stays jammed like a printer on the freeway. There’s just a lot of things I have to get out but my family members don’t know how to listen. I’m just gonna choose to stop talking about my issues with them now you tell me what you would do in this position. Writing my heart out but the people I thought cared for me, don’t care about this poetry. I guess I got the wrong idea of you always have to support someone locally.