Haircut Talk

I get haircuts maybe once a month and most of the time it’s just me and my aunt. I can talk to her about the deeper things, but with anyone else I can’t. We talked about her past marriage and things she had to deal with. I know a lot more now about her ex husband struggles and his words he tried to kill with. Putting my Aunt through hell, Tony I better not catch you out. I learned a lot more about my family so now that’s what I gotta write about. It’s that barber shop talk, you quit talking just to listen. So I gotta found out from my aunt that my mom still has problems and she knows how to fix ‘em? Prayer makes a huge difference, now I get why my daddy died. Had way too many drugs in his system, so that’s how he decides. I’m not trying to offend any of my family in this, but if I do I don’t care. Mom had my little brother at 40 with an overprotective step dad without hair. I’m tired of being cancelled out of the equation like I’m trying to solve for X. Say my parents do get a divorce and Peyton gonna wish they never had sex.

Mom I know you got some issues and I’m 19 so you don’t have to hide it from me. You won’t tell me about anything you’re struggling with when I ask to talk to you about things you’ll smirk and laugh it off but I dont think it’s funny. You can be proud of me, or you can really hate me for this. But now I understand why allen never wants to come home cause there’s not a thing he missed. You and Darin hide the drinking from me, like I don’t know it’s in your bathroom closet. You know how to drop all of these issues but instead of stopping the movie you just chose to pause it. You can hide it from Peyton for now cause he doesn’t know any better, but remember you did the same thing to me, alex, and allen when dad was throwing his life in the shredder. Look what that did, it eventually caught up. I was so focused on getting alex to believe that I never noticed you never listened to what Nana taught us.

Chase doesn’t come around anymore and he’s dealing with some tough things. He’s really into smoking pot but ask him if he remembers the Xbox games. Back then that was our get away, the games and just kicking it at the park or going fishing. Now things have changed and I guarantee Raven Symoné wouldn’t have had this vision. When it comes to things that matter; Allen is doing the best out the grandkids and that’s a surprise. I personally didn’t expect that cause me and Alex connected more than me and Allen did after dad died. I never really understood why he had to die at that time but it all makes sense to me at the moment. Nana and Aunt Maria had some prayer time and went to the altar because they knew Mom was broken. So much weight she didn’t wanna blow everything at steak. As Nana was praying, Aunt Maria stopped and heard the words “do whatever it takes.” That’s really all it took, the next week dad passed on. Mom was shook so she need something to turn fast on. That’s what society says to us, nothing is ever gonna last. It took all this and Lupe to realize your future comes from another persons past. So now I’m worried about Peyton, what’s he gonna do when he grows up? A divorce is something that the little Bro may feel is his fault when he gets big and not feel good enough. I understand that, cause I went through those stages when dad passed. I just found out a lot of things about my family that I probably should’ve asked…

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